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Marriage 101: Speaking of Sex

There are a lot of things one can learn from the union of Aidan and Jenna Price. Sure, they’ve got a lot going for them. They’re young, extremely attractive, affluent, and sensually “awake.” But Aidan and Jenna have also begun a powerful foundation for their marriage through exploring sexual intimacy – which bonds them strongly together, and helps them to weather the future.

Both see the value of surprise, imagination and spontaneity in their sexual adventures. They love the delight of exploring each other’s bodies, and talking about what excites them, what brings them to the brink of ecstasy; and they enjoy the talk together throughout the acts of pleasing one another. Both are keenly engaged and invested in bringing the other to completion, whenever possible: trembling, or even screaming, satisfaction. And they have no strict rules on what words they use to love each other. Of course, this led to their having to install soundproofing in their bedroom, after their young daughter heard what she interpreted as sounds of pain coming from them, one night.

In earlier generations, people would classify one another through calling one kind of language “dirty” or “cheap” — and another kind–“decent” or “romantic.” But today, such classifications don’t hold much weight in reality. Whatever words suit both lovers can be just fine, and can enhance the arousal for either – giving a man a stronger erection, bringing a woman closer to a satisfying climax.

Aidan and Jenna, throughout their intimate contact, talk and caress each other with intense love and affection, regardless of what words come to them spontaneously, from “darlin’” to “whore.” And the location for love might be a concrete bench in their private shower, or the back of their car, at the ocean. The exploration of intimacy in a marriage helps form the glue that keeps two people together.

Video Book Review for “When I Remember Love”

A video book review of When I Remember Love by Ami Blackwelder

My Friend Ruchel

Earlier in my blogging career I wrote about my friend-Ruchel. She will be enjoying her 93rd Birthday on June 15th, and I still can’t believe how fortunate I am to have her in my life. She has taught me so much about living and how I want to survive in my later years. We play Shanghai Rummy as often as we can. Unfortunately, I have a busy schedule and she lives about 40 minutes from me in Pasadena. I just saw her last week, and we have a lot of fun when we’re together. However, Ruchel, is very serious about her card games, so it’s all l business until we take a break for dinner, or when I shuffle between games. The only thing that I’m noticing is that her hands are not working as well as she would like. She has severe arthritis and is hard of hearing, but doesn’t even wear glasses! If a card falls on the floor, she is the first one to dive for it! It’s amazing to me the vitality she still possesses. We talk about many things, and she can sense when something is wrong, or I have had a bad week. Her insight astounds me and I just love our time together. Every time I leave, she says, I hope I’ll be alive to see you next time. I tell her don’t be silly and please don’t talk like that again! I often think about her leaving me and it upsets me. I’m her girlfriend in the truest sense of the word. We talk openly and freely about my life and hers. She gives me advice and I listen attentively. What will I do when she’s no longer around to nurture me with her wisdom? I think a part of my heart will die with her. So, today, I’m celebrating my friend Ruchel’s Birthday a bit early. She’s going to Boston next weekend for a family gathering, and she told me the exact dates when she will leave and come back. I bought her chocolate at the market before I arrived last week. It was a bag of Hersey Kisses, and she was extremely grateful. She kept saying, my friend Trish bought me these chocolates. We giggle like school girls.

Happy Birthday Ruchel, you’re an amazing woman and I truly love you!

Marriage and Trust

One of the major components in relationships today is trust. With the Internet and online dating services contributing to the matchmaking of today’s busy individuals, how do we know that the person we meet is trustworthy? We don’t.

Trust is earned over time and not just granted because they claim to be who they are. Trust is ultimately the basis in which all relationships are built, and if it’s ever broken, then that relationship can be torn to shreds and can never be revived.

At some point, I do believe all of us can see how this is the case. Having the trust broken by even a friend makes you question everything that friend does from that point forward. How can trust ultimately be reclaimed? Even if it’s something small, that nagging little voice in the back of your head will continue to send you those negative messages. Furthermore, you will find yourself defensive and overly suspicious leading to the end of the relationship and/or marriage.

Here are a few ways that might help overcome that downward spiral:

  • Forgive or be forgiven. It’s no longer an option to use a prior indiscretion and throw it into a future quarrel.
  • Find ways to move beyond the past. This can do nothing but add fuel to the fire. Always give love, but don’t obsess over it.
  • In the event, you are the one who’s wrong, try to change. Learn from your mistakes and prove to your spouse or significant other that there aren’t any more secrets, lies or other equally devastating problems.
  • Set goals for your relationship. This means talk about your future and set the same goals making sure you both adhere to them.
  • Renew your vows and commitments. Occasionally, we all forget what those vows meant to us, so repeating them in front of witnesses can sometimes make them more important in our minds.
  • Try to communicate. You both shared in the pain and the trauma in which the trust was broken. Don’t keep it withdrawn and hidden, but discuss your feelings.
  • Listen to each other. Nevertheless, not only with your ears, but with your soul. Each time you put your soul into a situation, instead of worrying about your relationship… you will find that your heart and everything else will align and heal.
  • Honesty. No matter how trivial be honest. Granted, we do try and protect our spouses from pain, but ultimately it backfires on us, and we will find ourselves in a difficult situation. Remember, half truths are the same as lies. Guilty by omission does count as a lie in most people’s eyes.
  • Take responsibility for your actions. Don’t deny that you are ‘ignorant’ of what you did. Don’t even think to deny it. Be sincere when you apologize and again, learn from your mistakes.
  • Seek counseling or ultimately search on how to correct the underlying element that motivated the broken trust.
  • Respect your spouse. They are human, with feelings. If the respect is there, then there is honesty and that starts the foundation in which you can continue to build and rebuild your relationship.

Remember, this didn’t happen overnight. Therefore, it can’t be fixed easily. Time takes patience. It’s okay to remember what happened but with time, pain, sorrow, and betrayal will fade and eventually go away. One last point, be aware of yourself, your feelings and one another. If you do want the relationship to remain intact, it’s crucial to keep hope alive and work diligently toward a common goal.

Unforgettable Facebook Connections (Radio Interview)

Please listen to my interview today with Cheryl Resnick the host of the Unforgettable Facebook Connections radio show in regard to my novel “When I Remember Love.” I want to thank Cheryl Resnick and Brian Kirsch for their expertise and letting me use my voice to make a difference!

If you don’t see the flash player below to listen, click HERE to reload it.

Listen to internet radio with Unforgettable Facebook Connections on Blog Talk Radio
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