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The facts and fantasies of Internet dating

 

 

Have you been searching for love the conventional way, scouring the coffee houses and bars in the hopes of discovering your soul mate? Alternatively, have taken the plunge into the world of on-line dating, wallowing through prospective admirers. Here are some rules and suggestions to follow, termed “netiquette”, as you venture into the exciting world of online dating. :

1. Your profile is the most important feature of Internet dating. It needs to be clever and innovative. If your profile is not great, then you could be losing out on many potential dates. Furthermore, you could be losing out on meeting that special person that we all long for. It’s worth looking at other profiles to get a feel for what they say but don’t feel that you need to emulate them, for you are after all, unique, and you want to come across that way. Make sure that your profile stands out by writing the things that the others don’t have. This way, you can give others a real insight into your personality. Don’t lie or embellish your profile, as you’ll soon get trapped by your words.

2. Keep your emotional baggage at bay when it comes to writing a profile that works and when messaging potential dates. Everyone has problems. It’s impossible not to have something left over from a previous relationship – lack of confidence, financial concerns, a broken heart. Avoid putting your miseries on display for the whole world to see and to discuss. Keep your troubles hidden until you meet someone with whom you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings.

3. When you post a photo online, please remember that it’s supposed to represent you, so however tempting it is to post a photo of Jennifer Lopez or Brad Pitt, your date does need to know what you look like. Otherwise they are never going to find you when you meet.

4. True love needs interaction, and it’s also far from being skin deep. Respond when you get a message even if you don’t really desire the other person. There is no point in being impudent or cold. This person has real feelings. It’s fine to say, “no thanks” if you honestly feel that you are not suited on any level. At the opposite end of the scale, don’t play hard to get. If you like someone and they like you, be yourself, have fun, enjoy the interaction and don’t play games.

5. One of the almost guaranteed topics that will crop up repeatedly is the subject of sex. This might not come as much of a shock. Remember that you can interact with a fun chat if that’s what you want but make sure it’s reciprocated. Attempting to solicit sex, virtual or otherwise, too quickly may frighten off an otherwise potential mate.

6. When writing to your future date, there is no need to write essays. Capitalize on brevity and make the most of a short message by making every word count. Save the life story as a topic of interest for when you first meet.

7. An important safety tip is to remember that until you meet in a safe place, you are relying upon the word of the individual to reflect whom they truly are. Don’t think that everyone out there in Internet land is a wonderful enchanted being who is going to come and mesmerize you with their charm and whisk you off to fantasy land. Beware of those who promise you Xanadu. Fantasy is a wonderful, erotic tool, but until you are comfortable and have met your mate keep a foot planted firmly on the ground of the real world. On-line Internet dating offers a lot of potential but there is no magic wand. Be cautious not to give out too much information before establishing a bond.

Relationships are hard work, and you’ll have to take the good with the bad, but if you follow these commandments, you’ll enjoy the whole dating experience.
In my next blog, you will experience the perspective of my friend Alice, who is familiar with on-line dating. Her stories are hilarious so stay tuned.

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