Part Two… Facts and Fantasies of Internet Dating
As promised, I am going to share Alice’s journey in regard to Internet dating. She was extremely kind to share her stories with me and gave me permission to share them with you. I want to thank Alice for her honesty and friendship. Here are her stories:
On-Line Dating After 50….An Experience!
I started on-line “dating” right before I was divorced. It had been about twenty years since I had been on a date and I was nervous. I worked long hours and found it very difficult to meet people and find someone I was attracted to. I will attempt to recall in some sort of order my experiences, good bad and hilarious.
My first experience I would hardly call on-line dating. I was very new to the computer and stayed on the MSN pages in the chat rooms and groups (that no longer exist). I had no social life due to my horrific marital situation and the concept of having people to chat with each night was an enjoyable experience. I can tell you those kind individuals took me under their wings and taught me all I know about operating a computer. I joined some groups and we had weekly chats and I had so much fun. It was mainly silliness, but that is what I needed at that time.
I do not remember actively seeking out dating sites; someone must have told me about them. The first one I joined was called LAVALIFE….it was kind of lame and hard to maneuver through, however they had a chat feature I liked. I never wrote people there but got a lot of email. My first contact however ended up being married… which I found out because his wife wrote to me! I still see him on the sites using the same photos…hilarious.
The first time I wrote anyone was a character with the nickname Karmacomedian….how could I resist? We became good friends and are still to this day. We did manage to have a sexual escapade or two, but ultimately I was not really attracted to him and so I ended the relationship.
However, he met someone willing to satisfy his particular urges (he was slightly twisted and had a real need towards bondage that I am not really fond of). We were chatting one night, and he wanted me to go look at his and his new lady love’s profile on a site called SWAPPERNET…I went to check it out and it would not let me see anything, unless I joined and then only for one day. Furthermore, it was almost midnight when I joined and went to look at the clock just as it struck 12 AM…so nothing! Therefore, I looked up the fees involved to join and paid them.
The very next day I got a note from a lovely, interesting and complex guy. We really had some great adventures! He was in a committed relationship with a woman half his age and wanted a partner for times when she was gallivanting with fellows her own age! We are still friends today. However, we are no longer lovers.
During this time, I met a sexy man my age (I am wracking my brain to remember which site, but it’s not coming to me). He pursued me in a very flattering way, and we met for lunch and were immediately attracted to one another. We flirted by e-mail and began chatting for a couple of weeks, and then he invited me to his home for the week-end. He treated me like a queen and showered me with fabulous food, wine and sex. I was smitten for sure.
He is the man who taught me about love-making. We attended a sensual massage weekend at a couple’s resort and had some swinging adventures that were quite educational and pleasurable. At this point, in my life, I had decided to say, “Yes” to things of that nature!
“The Hobbit Strikes Out!”
I am interested in writers and writing. A profile caught my eye of an older gentleman who had published a book of love stories. He seemed rather professional and kind. Furthermore, we began chatting and he shared his web page and information about himself and his book. I agreed to meet him for coffee at a local chain restaurant near my home and the interstate…( Where I could make a quick getaway if need be…ha-ha).
I try to be precisely on time for meeting people, and upon arrival, he was not there. I waited about fifteen minutes and was about to leave when he drove up in a ramshackle van and pours himself out amidst a flurry of loose papers and coffee cups. He is approximately 5’2” and is dressed in dirty blue-jeans and a wrinkled shirt. (I inwardly sigh, but I am willing to accept his untidy and haphazard appearance). He looks like a careless Hobbit and wasn’t especially professional.
We go in and I order coffee, and he says, “OH, I have not had dinner, and I am starved…I think I will order some food.”(Uh oh…now I am trapped). At the end of his dinner he says…”OH, I have forgotten my wallet…can you spot me some cash until later?” OH
CRAP…. Well, for $6.99, I told him no problem.
He has brought along a folder that contains ALL the material he has already shown me in regard to his book and included his lengthy profile and other facts, he previously shared with me. He rambles on and on about the book and keeps repeating all the same information. I listen politely, and he mentions that he is renovating a bus to go on the road promoting his book. Although I did not share this with him, I am interested in refurbishments and other things of that nature. I agree to follow him over to the bus to see it.
This bus is horrifying. It looks scary. As if a person who might enter it, will never to be seen again. There are stacks of papers everywhere…starting projects of possible restorations. It looks like a hoarder’s paradise! Finally, I said, “Well, I have to go.” He then starts to try and kiss me and put his grubby Hobbit hands all over me….I got out of that bus, and he kept following me. I turned around and said, “I am going now…don’t worry about the money.”
Later, he writes me many letters begging for another date and then asking me what he did wrong. I sure wished I had saved his letters. I wrote him back explaining the precise reasons I was EXTREMELY repelled by him!
“Ellie May and the Critters”
Once again, I found an interesting fellow online. He is a furniture builder…not simply chairs and tables, but true works of art…elegant, beautiful and skillfully crafted! I am interested in this because my father had once made lovely items out of wood, and this is a skill and an art that I had admired for a long time! We communicate and he seems intelligent, funny and nice.
He is also a musician, so I agree to meet him in a local pub where he, and a friend are performing that evening. I arrive and do not see him yet, so I go to the bar, get a seat on a stool near the stage and proceed to have a beer.
He and his friend take the stage. What a sight to behold! He is wearing very high-waisted pair of jeans, with suspenders, a Hawaiian shirt tucked in and a pink necktie…not to mention the navy blue and tan saddle-oxfords. The friend raised a sardonic eye-brow and flashed a sexy grin. They play a few tunes (banjo and fiddle stuff) and then came over to talk to me. I find the guy so boring, and I am not interested in him at all…but I am VERY infatuated with his friend, and they invite me to come to their house for more libations. It turns out…they are room-mates.
When we arrive, the house is brightly lit, and we enter the house through the basement, where he has his workshop and furniture business. He shows me some of his work…the very same pieces shown on his website. I am wondering if he has them in production, or if they are the only pieces he has finished.
When we go upstairs I am shocked at the odd furnishings and decor. In the kitchen, there are about two-hundred cans of espresso coffee (the yellow and red ones) stacked up everywhere. I remark about this and he only replies…I like coffee. HA
We decide to have a drink and I notice that the sliding glass door to the deck is open and that there is a bird feeder in the middle of the living room. I also remark about this and he replies, “Oh that is for the critters…I like them to come in here to eat.” EEEKKK!!! The roommate just smiles once again. His friend gets out his guitar and starts to play and asks me if I know any James Taylor songs (of course, I do: D) and we start to sing.
Nutcase, starts rummaging around in a cabinet and brings over a small wooden box and hands it to me and asks me to look inside. Inside is a nude photo of a woman. I say, “Okay,”…and then he asks me what I think of her. I say, “She looks nice.” He then begins to tell me all about his former lover and how wonderful she was and how he will NEVER find anyone like her again and on and on. Meanwhile, he started taking off his pants….LOL… I am serious!
I am starting to get frightened, and I stand up and announce that I am leaving. His roommate tells me he will walk me out, and he does! WHEWWWW.
The next day I get an apology note from the weirdo. I do not respond.
Over two or three years later I get an e-mail from the guy. He wants to know if I paid for his beer that night at the pub. It turns out that he did not pay for his own beer and they banned him from the place forever.
“And Then I Found Love”
Then I joined Adult Friend Finder. This was really an eye-opening experience! This is where I met my current lover. However, I still keep my profile open there…mainly to blog and feel like I am attractive to other men. I also maintain profiles on the tamer dating sites that are free: ‘Plenty of Fish’ and ‘OKCupid..’ I have made some good friends on those sites, but no real connections of a physical nature.
Those are my stories, and I’m sticking to them!
Alice Louise Whiteside
Please stay tuned next week to another special blog in regard to on-line dating.