One of the major components in relationships today is trust. With the Internet and online dating services contributing to the matchmaking of today’s busy individuals, how do we know that the person we meet is trustworthy? We don’t.
Trust is earned over time and not just granted because they claim to be who they are. Trust is ultimately the basis in which all relationships are built, and if it’s ever broken, then that relationship can be torn to shreds and can never be revived.
At some point, I do believe all of us can see how this is the case. Having the trust broken by even a friend makes you question everything that friend does from that point forward. How can trust ultimately be reclaimed? Even if it’s something small, that nagging little voice in the back of your head will continue to send you those negative messages. Furthermore, you will find yourself defensive and overly suspicious leading to the end of the relationship and/or marriage.
Here are a few ways that might help overcome that downward spiral:
- Forgive or be forgiven. It’s no longer an option to use a prior indiscretion and throw it into a future quarrel.
- Find ways to move beyond the past. This can do nothing but add fuel to the fire. Always give love, but don’t obsess over it.
- In the event, you are the one who’s wrong, try to change. Learn from your mistakes and prove to your spouse or significant other that there aren’t any more secrets, lies or other equally devastating problems.
- Set goals for your relationship. This means talk about your future and set the same goals making sure you both adhere to them.
- Renew your vows and commitments. Occasionally, we all forget what those vows meant to us, so repeating them in front of witnesses can sometimes make them more important in our minds.
- Try to communicate. You both shared in the pain and the trauma in which the trust was broken. Don’t keep it withdrawn and hidden, but discuss your feelings.
- Listen to each other. Nevertheless, not only with your ears, but with your soul. Each time you put your soul into a situation, instead of worrying about your relationship… you will find that your heart and everything else will align and heal.
- Honesty. No matter how trivial be honest. Granted, we do try and protect our spouses from pain, but ultimately it backfires on us, and we will find ourselves in a difficult situation. Remember, half truths are the same as lies. Guilty by omission does count as a lie in most people’s eyes.
- Take responsibility for your actions. Don’t deny that you are ‘ignorant’ of what you did. Don’t even think to deny it. Be sincere when you apologize and again, learn from your mistakes.
- Seek counseling or ultimately search on how to correct the underlying element that motivated the broken trust.
- Respect your spouse. They are human, with feelings. If the respect is there, then there is honesty and that starts the foundation in which you can continue to build and rebuild your relationship.
Remember, this didn’t happen overnight. Therefore, it can’t be fixed easily. Time takes patience. It’s okay to remember what happened but with time, pain, sorrow, and betrayal will fade and eventually go away. One last point, be aware of yourself, your feelings and one another. If you do want the relationship to remain intact, it’s crucial to keep hope alive and work diligently toward a common goal.