I struggled with writing this blog, but after thinking long and hard… decided to write it any ways. My fan, which shall remain nameless, told me her story and asked me to write about her plight, so everyone could understand how affairs do happen.
She was in a long term marriage with a man she loved, but the sex just wasn’t good anymore and was few and far between. She had a high sex drive and practiced self-love. One day she met a man, and they had lunch together. He was younger than her, but she was very attractive and always had a way with men. They saw each other for six months before anything happened sexually. He suggested it and she always remembered her marriage vows and rejected him. He was wealthy, gorgeous and began falling in love with her. He had lost his wife to cancer five years prior to their meeting. He found a place in her heart, and they started a tumultuous affair. It was exciting and fantastically fulfilling sexually for both at first, but it didn’t last long. Reality set in and he became jealous of her husband and her time away from him. She felt conflicted and exceedingly guilt ridden. He pressured her to make a choice between him and her husband. He wanted a life with her, and she wanted an affair. In her mind, there was never any intention of her leaving her husband, but she began to fall in love with him. It was an awful triangle filled with deceit and anger. She went away with him for a couple of days and had a wonderful time. He wanted her to do it every week if possible. Their sex life was wonderful; they fulfilled each other needs and were exceptionally compatible in bed.
Sex is a beautiful thing, and it’s also like an addictive drug. They became careless and he wanted her daily. She became his drug of choice and when he saw her sometimes there were no words exchanged just stares, kisses and rough sex. They were crossing the line into another world. He became obsessed with her.
One day he sent her a text in the morning and told her she had to make a choice. She wrote him “goodbye.” He called her and they argued. She started to cry and told him he was ruining her life.
“But… I love you,” he would say.
And she would tell him it was not enough.
The stalking began and she had to get a third party involved. Affairs rarely turn out well. They’re deceitful and dangerous, because they were both playing with the other’s heart. She just called me a few weeks ago to tell me it was completely over, but she does miss him, and she did love him. Legally, he can’t call her, and its better they go their separate ways. She’s trying to build a sexual relationship with her husband and started talking to him about it. I suggested they go to a sex therapist.
Their story is all too common in today’s world. The pressure on husbands to make a living in this economy is really taking a toll on marriages. It’s very important for couples to keep the doors of communication open. People learn by their mistakes, and I’m sure she learned a valuable lesson. So, when you think an affair is tempting, think again. It just might ruin your marriage and your life!