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Components of a Good Relationship/Marriage… Romance, Love, Listening and Sex.

I am a writer, who writes about, romance, love, marriage and the glorious sexual experience that’s one of the main benefits of marital bliss. The three are connected but there are many other elements.

One of the most important aspects in a relationship is a good conversation. When two people meet and are attracted to each other, it’s usually the original communication that ignites the romance. Remember, how the two of you had listened to the other intently the first time you met, and you gave one another your undivided attention.  Remember when sparks flew and eyes locked…it was an exciting moment, and it doesn’t have to end. If you keep practicing this throughout your marriage, there would be stronger unions and fewer divorces. When he or she is excited about an intending rewarding experience, be excited for them and listen! Be their ally not their enemy. Listening is so important. It validates the person and makes them feel exceptional and confidant.

Sex is extremely important as well, in a relationship or marriage. It’s a way of connecting through self-expression. Believe me if your partner doesn’t find it from you, they will find it somewhere else. Enjoy monogamy without monotony.

The safest way to practice great sexual intimacy is foreplay. You can do this for hours and getting to know what make the other happy is the best prelude to the most gratifying sex life, even in the marriage bed. Honesty hurts sometimes, but it’s a great form of communication and forever sets a high standard that will benefit both of you in the long run.

I have decided to blog about what I write about and that’s romance, love, sex and marriage. I still believe in the sanctity of the marriage bed and the trust that’s established in the beginning of the relationship.

In my next blog, I will discuss “Advice to Men.” How they can attract a lady and therefore, begin a meaningful relationship. I think that we should start from the beginning and progress from there…don’t you?

One Response to “Components of a Good Relationship/Marriage… Romance, Love, Listening and Sex.”

  • Alan:

    Hi Trish,

    Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Communication is so very important! But, interestingly, I think it was maybe George Carlin who said, “If I’m here for giving to others, then what are all the others for?” It seems I have a fair right to be listened to as well! The Golden Rule works both ways!

    This dual reality brings up the inherent walkie-talkie problem. When in talk mode, the walkie-talkie can receive no signal, and vice versa. So I need a way to balance listening with being heard. This all too often does not happen automatically.

    I think there are many ways to make this happen, but here are just a few, which I’ve learned from therapists: 1) Be conscious first if I need to talk to talk or have specific content I need to get across. Both are fine, but if I just want to talk to talk, remember then that it has no end and will use up all of our communication time unless I consciously monitor and time it; 2) Count the people present in a conversation. If it’s two (as it usually is for us loving couples), then take the recicprocal of 2, which is 1/2, and do my best to not use up more than 1/2 of the time we are probably going to have to communicate in that setting at that time. If it’s 3, then try to use up no more than 1/3 the time. It sounds crude, but anything else is based on assuming my talking is more important than theirs, and you know how that feels if you’re on the receiving end. I knew there was a use for math somewhere! 3) The 1/2 above was a maximum, because for relaxed conversation, space for silence, peace, rest from paying attention to the other are all needed as well. Allow at least some time for silence, both for others and yourself; 4) Become consciously aware who is controlling the agenda, not just the time, and try to use the 1/2, 1/3, etc. rule here too. I can give the other person 3/4 of the literal time in seconds or minutes, by asking them questions, etc., but if they’re forced to use it all up always answering my questions or talking about only what I had brought up, then I am still the one “owning” the conversation; 5) I guess I can sum all this up by saying, try to control no more than 1/2 of a conversation, including that 1/2 the other person may want to use however they want to use it–not necessarily my way. If the other person is thinking this way too, then I’ll get my 1/2 too! And my always limited time, needed for other things and for “just myself,” will also be respected.

    Then there are techniques like “active listening,” to help in negotiating when inevitable and even just and fair conflicts arise. What might you say about this? What could you say about a spirit of negotiation rather than of forcing and control?

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